ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
