party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
