I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
