i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
