how can u be prego again
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i out mim tonsoeep
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
