He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
