My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
