If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
