Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
