he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
