Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So apparently I’m into choking now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
