She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
