I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
