to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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