we have officially mastered the walk of shame
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
