He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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