He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
