My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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