The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Are my feet made of real feet?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
