i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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