I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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