I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
