She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
