Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
