We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
