how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
