Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
