bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
