i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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