I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
