i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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