yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
