Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
there is glitter all over my balls
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