You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
