so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
