People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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