is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
