wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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