So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
