finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
