at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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