Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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