I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
