I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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