Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
