That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
