She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
