I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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