Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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