i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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